why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
