Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
They have beer where we have blood.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
