new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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