foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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