i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
