after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
