Porn is love you can see.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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