I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
