I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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