I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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