Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize