we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
