the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize