True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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