My brain says no but my pants say off.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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