I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
a search helicopter?!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
