The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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