i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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