I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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