I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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