her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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