Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
