I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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