actually, I'm a sock model
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
