It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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