so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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