he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
