i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize