Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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