it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
