the day after is always just damage control
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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