You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Four minutes until I can fart!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
