Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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