As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
