I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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