i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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