I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
