I understand why you refuse to be sober now
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
