im drinking this country out of the recession.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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