would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
