Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
