check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
