I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
