What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
