You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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