I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
