I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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