I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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