So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
