Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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