After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
