I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
