I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
