Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize