So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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