Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
