You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
