As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
