I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
