period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
